GRANT ME THE SERENITY: Helpful Words for Challenging Times
Dear Madoff Sufferer –
No one wants to hear that loss, change and suffering are inevitable… No one wants to be reminded that life is a series of losses, small & large, starting from birth & ending in death… No one wants to realize that we all suffer loss & change in one way or another. Yet behind every door is someone adjusting to change, adapting to crisis or coping with unsettling loss or tragedies.
Loss & trauma turn us upside down. This is no different. We can’t believe the reality; we desperately want time to go back in time. We want to believe that it’s not true, “I can change this, I do have control, and it’s not that bad.”
Ultimately we have to accept the reality of the situation. We have to accept the aspects that are uncontrollable. We have to grieve, regroup and recommit. We need to look for ways that we can regain some control.
This is said so well in the familiar Serenity Prayer:
“Grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change….
The courage to change the things I can and…
The wisdom to know the difference”
So the question is – during this difficult time of change, loss and powerlessness, can you recognize what you do have control over?
Here are some things that we can consider having control over:
- Our attitude
- Learning to express anger & frustration in healthy ways
- Taking care of ourselves in body, mind & spirit
- Developing stress management strategies
- Communicating our feelings
- Getting support as needed
- Developing resilience — transforming from victim to advocate
- Staying connected to others in similar situations
- Staying informed
- Learning from the adversity
Ultimately, we need to find the way to turn crisis into opportunity. In developing, acceptance, resilience, strength and optimism during challenging times, we find that although we cannot change the situation we can change the way we look at it and the way we see ourselves.
Please get back to us by posting your thoughts and comments and tell us about some of your coping methods. Wishing you the best of luck.
Bobbie Comforto, LCSW, CT